How to Fake a Clean House in 10 Minutes 🧼 (The Sacred Art Form)
You’ve got last minute guests on the way, the floor’s a crime scene, and it feels like your stomach might fall out of your butt.
We’ve got you Chaos Queen. Here’s how to fake domestic goddess energy in record time.
Step 1: Light something.
A candle, incense, even a stovetop simmer pot, scent = illusion of effort.
If it smells like vanilla and citrus, people assume you care about your life. (At least that’s what I tell myself.)
Step 2: Contain the chaos.
Grab a basket and shove everything that doesn’t belong into it.
Shove that basket…somewhere else. Closet, car, or that one chair that’s basically a fabric mountain now.
Step 3: Hit the visual hot zones.
Counters, coffee table, bathroom sink.
If it catches the eye, wipe it.
If it doesn’t, rebrand it as texture… Everything’s texture now…
Step 4: Mood lighting.
Dim lamps hide the dust. It’s not deception, it’s mood lighting for the mystery.
Bright lights are for people with time management skills.
You’re not hiding the mess…you’re creating atmosphere.
Boom. 💥 You did it! Ten minutes and you’ve tricked everyone (including yourself) into believing you have your life, even relatively, together.
And honestly? That’s the kind of magick we celebrate here.
✨ Want more home magick like this?
Sign up for the Maiden Magick newsletter for quick home hacks, archetype-inspired styling, and time saving sanity savers.
Beneath every deceivingly clean home, there’s an archetype waiting to be seen.
Take the Archetype Quiz and find the energy that actually feels like home.
