10 Signs You Are in A Shadow Era

Apr 1

(And Why That's Actually Fine, You Mythical Lil Thing)

First things first: the Shadow is not bad. Some people hear "shadow" and assume trauma and something definitely uncomfortable, and no thank you very much. But, no no! The Shadow isn't a problem to solve. She's a part of you that holds what you can’t, and waits until you’re ready to acknowledge it (if ever). Sure working with your Shadow isn’t for the weak, but you wouldn’t be here if that applied to you!

So! Here are 10 completely recognizable signs that you, my friend, are currently living in a Shadow Era, and what to do when you’re there.

01

You're tired in a way sleep doesn't fix.

Not regular tired. Not "I stayed up too late watching a show I didn't even like" tired. The bone-deep, behind-your-sternum tired that shows up even after a full night's sleep and a good cup of coffee. That's the Shadow, and she’s gonna keep letting you know how drained you are until you deal with it.

02

You're holding more than anyone realizes.

You smile, you function, you show up, and meanwhile there's an entire internal monologue happening that nobody gets to hear. You're mentally, physically, or probably both, juggling approximately 43 things and making it look like three. Very impressive. Also: put some of that down, RELAX. It’s either relax now or breakdown later, and I guarantee one is going to take a LOT longer than the other, and be MUCH more uncomfortable.

03

Small things are hitting way harder than they should.

Something happened. It was not that serious. You cried anyway. The Shadow does not care about proportional responses, she only cares about the truth, and the truth is you've been holding too much for too long and a slightly passive aggressive email was apparently the last straw.

04

You've been saying "I'm fine" a lot.

Multiple times a day, probably. Sometimes before anyone even asks. The Shadow HATES "I'm fine." She knows it's a placeholder for about forty things you don't have the bandwidth to explain right now. (Same, honestly.)

05

You're avoiding something and you know exactly what it is.

There's a thing. You know what the thing is. You've been very creatively not looking directly at it. The Shadow is literally just standing next to it pointing. She's not going to stop. She has infinite patience and zero chill about this.

06

Your inner critic has been LOUD lately.

The voice that says you should be further along, doing more, handling it better, she's been extra chatty. That's not truth, that's an unbalanced Shadow talking. When she's healthy, she's honest. When she's not, she's just mean. Two very different things.

07

You feel disconnected from yourself.

Like you're going through the motions but not really IN them. You're doing the things, checking the boxes, keeping it moving, but it all feels a little… foggy? Muted? Like you're watching your own life from slightly outside of it? Yep. Shadow Era. She's calling you back inward.

08

You've been craving quiet, like aggressively.

Not just introverted-need-to-recharge quiet. PLEASE-everyone-stop-talking-and-making-noise-for-five-consecutive-minutes quiet. The Shadow needs stillness to do her work. She cannot function in the chaos and she is NOT above being dramatic about it.

09

You're questioning things you thought you had figured out.

Old beliefs, old patterns, old versions of yourself, things you thought were settled are suddenly up for re-examination. This feels unsettling. It is also, annoyingly, growth. The Shadow loves to audit. She's like a really intense accountant for your soul.

10

Something in you is ready to be done pretending.

There's a part of you, maybe a small part maybe a huge one, that is just DONE performing. Done shrinking, done explaining, done making it easier for everyone else. That part? That's the Shadow at her most powerful. And she's not wrong.

If you recognized yourself in more than a few of these… welcome. Pull up a chair. The Shadow era is not a punishment, it's an invitation to finally look at the stuff that will actually help you grow.

You don't have to fix everything today. You just have to stop pretending it isn't there.

And for the record? The fact that you're here, reading this, paying attention to yourself? That's already the Shadow doing her thing. She brought you here on purpose. She's sneaky like that. 🖤